Thursday, July 5, 2012

My, things have taken a disturbing turn

For those of you wondering if I may have suffered a psychotic break, never fear, it's nothing like that. I just happen to suffer from PMDD. Those in the know recognize this as an acronym for a condition marked by severe PMS. Those really in the know recognize it as a condition where you verbalized your desire to hack someone into pieces instead of smiling and pretending you are OK while rage stews internally where it may cause cancer. Idle threats of dismemberment are just me trying to stay cancer free. No need to alert any authorities (if you do...Snap Pinedale is my name).

I'm at the beginning stages of what will develop into near complete loss of my ability to cope over the next two weeks. I know I am at the beginning because 1) I only ordered a medium caramel Frappe to go with my cheeseburger with extra pickle instead of two large Frappes to go with my super-sized fry and apple pie. And 2) when I couldn't find a parking space in front of Kinkos because a Range Rover took two spaces since the owner is clearly a superior POS in their own mind (because smart people know Range Rovers are horrible vehicles with terrible Consumer Reports ratings for reliability and maintenance costs and would never purchase one) and some SRP pole installing contractor truck driver couldn't park for shit, instead of walking in and yelling "Thanks Range Rover and SRP contractor for taking up the only available parking spaces with your elitist bullshit parking space-hogging mentality and your incompetent parking skills, RESPECTIVELY!"...I simply just thought it. Still in control, but teetering.

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